Things Teenagers Say...Volume Six
Previous Volumes of Things Teenagers Say
Me: You must demo your work. No operate equals no grade.
Student: But, Jesus didn't convey to demo his operate when he built the ark!
Me: Nice try, but Jesus didn't laid upwards the ark.
Student: Oh, I meant Moses didn't convey to demo his operate when he built the ark.
Me: Yeah, Moses didn't laid upwards the ark either.
Student: I truly idea Joseph was the 1 who built the ark.
Me: You said Jesus earlier, non Joseph. But, Joseph didn't laid upwards the ark either.
Student: Okay. Last try. Marco Polo is the 1 who built the ark.
Yeah... I guess I should last impressed that they convey heard of Marco Polo.
--
I ever convey a tray of unloosen foliage notebook newspaper for students to role if they demand it. Some of it is a footling old. But, it nevertheless works.
Student: Can I role this prehistoric paper?
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Me: Please halt pulling out other people's hair.
Student: Well, she pulled a pilus out of my face, in addition to thence I had to describe out 1 of her hairs.
No words.
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A lady at my church building asked me to plow over my students approximately Family Feud fashion questions for a Christmas political party she was planning. This was 1 of the questions.
Me: Name an animate beingness yous would notice inwards the desert.
Student: Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 cactus.
Me: Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 cactus is non an animal.
Student: Yes it is. They move.
Me: Cacti create non move.
Student: Yes they do. I saw it inwards a movie. If it wasn't true, they wouldn't convey set it inwards the movie.
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Me: I went to the zoo this weekend.
Student: Did yous encounter your cousins?
Me: No.
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Student: Your legs await nice. Oh, you're wearing panty hose. That's why. I'm going to convey to instruct me approximately panty hose in addition to thence my legs await nice.Me: And, that's non awkward at all.
Student: It's only awkward because yous simply made it awkward.
No, I'm nevertheless pretty certain it was simply awkward to laid about with.
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One of my student's theory on my future:
First, he buys yous flowers. Then, he buys yous chocolate. Then, he buys yous jewelry. Then, he proposes. Then, yous instruct married. Then, yous convey kids. Then, yous outset fighting. Then, yous instruct a divorce. Then, yous perish alone, surrounded past times your cats.
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Math is in addition to thence terrifying. It shows me how big in addition to scary the globe truly is.
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Student: Have yous ever had your family egged?
Me: No.
<Laughter>
And, this is why my students create non in addition to should non know where I live!
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Me: Today, we're going to calculate the probability of winning the game of craps.
Student: Don't yous hateful the game of crabs?
Another Student: Yeah, I'm pretty certain the game is called crabs.
Me: No, truly it's called craps.
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