Things Teenagers Say...Volume Five

Actual Conversations of Late

(Some of these are from a span of months ago.  I write them downwards on post-it notes when they occur, together with these post-its got buried on my desk.  Imagine that...)

Previous Volumes


Student: Do y'all believe inwards ghosts?
Me: No
Student: You know this schoolhouse is haunted, right? 
Me: We need to motility on amongst our lesson.  If it was Halloween, I would hold out to a greater extent than than happy to utter virtually ghosts.  Sadly, it's Christmas.  And, Christmas has zilch to create amongst ghosts.
Student: What virtually the ghosts of Christmas past, present, together with future?
Me: Well...you've got me there.  We soundless convey to learn dorsum to our lesson, though.
Another Student: You merely got boomeranged!

Apparently, ane of our English linguistic communication teachers calls it boomeranging somebody when y'all assay them wrong.  I estimate they did boomerang me...

--

Me: Put upward your phone.
Student: Okay.
<Two minutes later>
Me: I tin run across that.  Put upward your phone.  
Student: Oh, I truly sentiment y'all weren't going to run across me that time. 
Me: Don't y'all know I convey an all-seeing eye?
Student: What?  
Me: I convey an all-seeing eye.  
Student: You convey an ulcer inwards your eye?
Me: No...

--

I don't know why I'm similar this today.  Usually, everything y'all tell is NOT funny to me..  But, today everything y'all tell is funny.  I estimate it's the Christmas spirit within of me or something.

Thanks...

--

<While discussing a futurity human relationship province of affairs that I mightiness notice myself inwards someday.  For this to brand sense, y'all create convey to know that I'm a vegetarian.>

He'll hold out eating a 48 ounce steak, together with you'll hold out eating a 48 ounce salad.

This was followed, of course, past times uproarious laughter from my entire class.  Oooh...what would a 48 ounce salad expect like?  What size bowl would it hold out in?  I tin run across a math work forming...

--

While making an ordered pair foldable:

Me: When y'all opened upward up the exterior flaps of the foldable, y'all volition notice about other foldable inside.  Isn't it merely adorable?
Student: I run across what y'all did there.
<Laughter>
Me: I don't learn it.
Student: A"door"able
Me: Pun unintended.  That time.  It volition hold out definitely intended, though, for the residue of the day!

--

Me: Can y'all believe that tomorrow is November?
Student: No.  What calendar month comes next?  January?

Obviously, this conversation took house on Halloween...

--

Student: Why create nosotros convey to learn to schoolhouse on Halloween?
Me: Because it's non a National holiday.
Student: But, they celebrate it all across the US.  Doesn't that arrive national?

I estimate I should convey said federal holiday.  They did convey a point. 

--

After telling students a joke that a modest fry at my church building shared amongst me:

"That's together with then funny I brutal off my pet dinosaur."

"That's together with then funny I convey tears running downwards my leg."

--

I named my fish "Smithy."  It's truly brusk for "Will Smith."  I named him that because he's my alone dark fish.

So terrible.  

--

So, y'all drive a grandma car, y'all ain a bunch of cats, together with y'all convey a box of barbies inwards your cabinet.  I'm worried virtually you.

My students brand me experience together with then loved.  And, for the record, I create non ain a cat.  And, I don't retrieve I drive a grandma car.  I create convey a box of barbies, however.  How else could nosotros create Barbie Bungee afterwards inwards the year???

--

One day, I didn't notice the lights flicker.  This led to this proclamation:

"Either we're all on meth together with you're not, or you're on meth."

--

Ms. Hagan, I convey something I need to learn off my chest.  My cousin thinks you're cute, together with he wants me to inquire y'all out for him...but he's form of a blank space...

I convey no sentiment who her cousin is, together with I don't fifty-fifty desire to know.

--

Me: Why does everybody decease along commenting on my hair?
Student: Well, it does expect similar y'all merely woke up.
Another Student: Have y'all been exterior recently?
Me: No.
Yet Another Student: Maybe you've stood past times an opened upward window recently?  (I retrieve this daughter was truly trying to arrive better...)
Me: No.

Next time, I volition merely decease along my observations to myself!

--

Me: If y'all can't hold out kind, hold out quiet.
Student: Wait!  I sentiment it was if y'all can't hold out kind, tell 2 overnice things.

--

I saw hexaflexagons inwards my dream final night.

Yes!

--

Student: Ms. Hagan, tin I come upward inwards hither at lunch?
Me: Yes.  You tin e'er come upward inwards my room at lunch.
<Student stalks off, angrily.>
Student: I convey dark contacts in.  No ane has noticed my unlike oculus coloring all day.

--

While going to the H2O outflow to refill my H2O bottle:

Student: What's the shout out of your bottle?
Me: George
Student: Mine is named Franklin.

And, for the record, his bottle was ghost-shaped because it was ane of those Halloween political party favors.  And, I truly don't refer to my bottle equally George.  I made upward a shout out on the location merely to run across how my educatee would respond.  

--

Student: What twenty-four hours create nosotros exit for Christmas Break?
Me: Dec 20th
Student: You hateful they're making us come upward to schoolhouse on Christmas Eve?!?
Me: No, nosotros don't convey schoolhouse on Christmas Eve.
Student: What twenty-four hours is Christmas?
Me: What twenty-four hours create y'all think Christmas is?
Student: Well, I sentiment it was on the 21st, but that would brand Christmas Eve on the 20th.  And, y'all said nosotros didn't convey schoolhouse on Christmas Eve.

--

Student: Are y'all Amish?
Me: No
Another Student: Just to hold out honest, y'all create expect Amish.  You convey an Amish haircut.

Because side-swept bangs together with lots of layers merely yells Amish, right?

--

Student: I'm together with then excited.  The Dallas Cowboys are going to hold out playing the Green Bakers.
Me: Who are they going to hold out playing?
Student: The Green Bakers.
Me: Are y'all certain they're going to hold out playing The Green Bakers?
Student: Yeah.
Me: I don't know a lot virtually football, but I'm pretty certain they're going to hold out playing The Green Bay Packers.
Student: That's what I said.

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