Things Teenagers Enjoin Book 15: Vampires, Bad Jokes, Too Jellyfish

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What non to tell to your teacher:

Student 1: Ms. Hagan, how create y'all conduct maintain in addition to hence many twitter followers?
Me: What tin I say? People only similar me.
Student 2: And, how are cooler on twitter than y'all are inward class?

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Student: You're evil. But, you're a sweetness form of evil.

Me: Thanks???

After introducing my constituent machines to my Algebra 1 students:

Student: Did y'all know that naming things similar this is a sign that you're going crazy?

You should appointment my brother. He's an one-time soul only similar you.

My immature human being kisses similar a jellyfish.

TMI.

Student: Do y'all desire to listen a muddy joke?

Me: No.

Student: I haven't vacuumed my rug inward vii years.

Student: If y'all alter the due north to a W, it would tell "Class Worms."

Me: Thank y'all for that wonderful insight.

We should brand algebra a contact sport. When somebody gets something wrong, their desk should acquire tackled.

Student 1: Do y'all know what I did this morning? I couldn't uncovering my belt, in addition to hence I decided to role a bungee cord to concur upwards my pants.

Student 2: You tin role a bungee cord for anything!

Me: I don't fifty-fifty intend I ain a bungee cord.

Student 2: What type of somebody doesn't ain a bungee cord?

Did y'all know looking at your telephone tin plow over y'all a double chin?

How tin I brand my leg wake upwards other than telling it to wake up? Because I told it to wake up, in addition to it didn't work.

Student: What happens if y'all swallow a bug?

Me: You die.

Student: [Gasp] I intend I only swallowed a bug.

Every day, I write a greeting on the SMART Board on the slide that tells students what supplies they volition postulate for the day. It's commonly something along the lines of "Have a Wonderful Wednesday!" or "Start thinking of your proficient thing!" Last Thursday, the board read, "Happy Baby Friday!" Growing up, my mom sometimes referred to Th every bit "Baby Friday." Apparently, my students conduct maintain never heard of this before.

All 24-hour interval long, I heard, "But, Ms. Hagan! It's non Friday!" when students walked inward the classroom. I didn't tell it was Friday. I said it was "Baby Friday." Yeah, I'm non certain they fully comprehended my message. It did Pb to roughly interesting comments.

Student: Shouldn't it live on called Teenage Friday?
Me: What?
Student: Baby Friday should genuinely live on called Teenage Friday. Then, Wednesday could live on Baby Friday. Thursday could live on Teenage Friday. And Friday could only be Friday.

Another Student: Baby Friday? I intend the lack of meat is going to your head.

On a Thursday...

Student: Guys! It's ane 24-hour interval early on to live on making fun of Ms. Hagan's jokes.

Ms. Hagan, I heard your immature human being broke upwards alongside y'all because he works life out y'all were a teacher. Is that true?

Note to self. Do non tell jokes most vampires in addition to teachers unless y'all desire to live on defendant of beingness a vampire. Rookie mistake.

Me: What create y'all acquire if y'all cross a vampire in addition to a teacher?

Student: Ms. Hagan

(and inward roughly other class)

Me: What create y'all acquire if y'all cross a vampire in addition to a teacher?

Student: Influenza A virus subtype H5N1 Math Teacher

Me: Guys, create y'all genuinely intend I'm a vampire?

Student: I bet y'all slumber inward a coffin.

Another Student: Maybe this is why nosotros never come across y'all exterior the school.

Yet Another Student: Your legs create kinda remind me of a vampire's legs. They're in addition to hence white, almost similar porcelain.

#TMC14 was held at Jenks High School. The other day, roughly of my students were hypothesizing what it would live on similar to become there.

Student: Can y'all imagine what it would live on similar to become to a schoolhouse similar Jenks? I bet their hallway is similar a Calvin Klein rails show.

The ag instructor told me how y'all teach. You instruct inward such a agency that nosotros don't realize we're learning stuff. We only come upwards to class in addition to intend we're having fun. But, you're genuinely pedagogy us math! Good chore Ms. Hagan!